The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
