My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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