I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
only you would photoshop your dick
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
