That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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