i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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