atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
