We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
