Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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