but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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