So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
