I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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