I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
