I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
