Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
