so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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