we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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