hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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