I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
