remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
