well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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