it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
