I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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