does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
