She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
