Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
