You're completely useless in the revolution.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize