He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
