she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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