I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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