if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
