my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
