Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This baby is an asshole
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
