im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I love you. Go after that dick
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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