How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
