Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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