Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
