oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
