I want to have your abortion
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
