Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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