Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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