I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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