So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
