whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize