who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize