We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
