do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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