what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
