so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
