your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She said her name was "party"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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