im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
