My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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