and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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