you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
