I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He better not be in your backpack
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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