He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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