This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it's like iHOP with fire
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
