I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
