haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
