I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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