When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
