my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
