'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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