dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
