The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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