I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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