bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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